Friday, February 22, 2013

If you ever want to know what you are doing wrong, ask a 3 year old

Yesterday really opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not perfect. I never thought I was and I never claimed to be...but IF I did feel that way, that feeling would have come to a screeching halt.

I picked everyone up from daycare and school yesterday afternoon which means that it was an immediate assembly line as soon as we walked through our door to get bathed and disinfected. As the girls were playing in the tub together for a minute, I needed to use the bathroom. I don't know how other kids are, but my kids like to look at poop before we flush it. Theirs, ours, anyone's. All of the time. Maybe they are slightly odd, maybe they are normal...whatever they are, it happens all of the time in our house. Especially since we're potty training kid #2.

After I was finished, I didn't flush. I saved it for the girls to look at, per their request. I then bathed all 3 kids, and got caught up with making dinner.

My husband got home just as I was about finished with dinner. He took over and told the girls to go get washed up so I could start feeding Dex. All of a sudden I hear "Mom....there's something drowning in here!" My husband goes to see what's up and shouted "Babe!?! Is this your poop? Come on....that's disgusting! Flush the toilet!" Whoops. I completely forgot to show the girls and let them flush it. Maddie walked in the living room and said "Mom. This is not acceptable." while Morgan was chanting "Bedusting. Bedusting." (her version of "disgusting") I felt like shrinking. I was put in place by my 3 year old (and 2 year old) over a turd.

The funny thing is, that's not the first time she's told me I did something wrong. It happens daily. Actually it happens multiple times during the day. I get "'re not holding my brother the right way. Mom, that's not the right lid for this cup. Mom, that toy doesn't go there, it goes here. Mom, YOU are the one who tooted. (I can't even blame my flatulence on anyone else anymore!) Mom, you never gave us an afternoon snack!" If I don't do something or do something the wrong way, she'll be sure to tell me about it. But don't think that she reserves this just for me. She will call out anyone and everyone on their faults. People have come over to babysit (the very few times that my husband and I have gotten out of the house) and she will tell them "You gave me the wrong plate. That's not how you brush my teeth. No, you read THIS story and THEN this one. You gave me the wrong cup. There's no ice in here. You need to put ice in here." So on and so forth. Then the next day she will be sure to tell Jay and I all about it.

Her memory amazes me. The worst is hearing her say "There's the yellow slide that you let me fall off of Mom. Remember? I got a boo boo on my knee, right here (she points to her knee), and it was bleeding EVERYWHERE. And Daddy had to come and meet us. Do you remember Mom? Do you?" Yeah yeah yeah I remember. How could I possibly forget when you remind me of it every single time we drive past that park. And it happened over a year ago! She's like and elephant.

If you ever want to know what your faults are, or if your doing something wrong, ask a 3 year old. If their answer isn't clear enough, come to my house. Maddie will be sure to spell it out clear as day.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

My Little Sponges

I feel I am like most moms out there. I try to juggle a million and one things simultaneously and have days when I am so consumed with the normal routine of our day that I don't really let myself absorb all of the new things that my kids are doing, trying, learning, and saying. I guess it's not that I don't let myself it's more that I go through some days with blinders on and robotically do what needs to be done without really thinking about it.

Yesterday was one of those days when I had my blinders off. I heard every little conversation my girls had with one another. Some made me laugh, some made me cringe, and one resulted in me bolting into the room to put a stop to my 2 year old trying to eat my 3 year old's tongue. (I have no idea how that even came about, but I had to put a stop to it. I couldn't have her going out in public thinking it was OK to try and eat people's tongues!!!)

I also got a taste of what I sound like to my kids. I know that all kids are little sponges, but I sometimes forget just how absorbent they really are. I ran into Kohl's yesterday with all 3 kids forgetting that they don't have shopping carts that are big enough to at least hold a car seat, and kid #2. I ended up walking around the store with the travel system stroller calling for the other 2 kids every 30 seconds. They were in clothes racks, climbing on shelves, looking up dresses that are on manicheans (and hiding under them), putting on jewelry, and running from me like I was the boogieman. I had enough. I grabbed 2 random shirts (just enough to use up the gift card that expired that day) and we got the heck out of there. As I was loading the girls into the car Maddie said "We were so good in there Mom." I looked at her as if she was insane, and then continued strapping them in as I mumbled under my breath "You guys acted like a bunch of idiots." Probably something I should not have said, but it just slipped out. At least I mumbled it. I finished loading up everything else, and hopped in the driver's seat. As soon as I sat down I heard the girls singing "bunch of idiots, bunch of all are a bunch of idiots!" Gah. I REALLY shouldn't have said that. That's my mommy blunder for the day.

After we got home Maddie was helping me take care of Dex. She kept saying Hello handsome, you are so cute mister, ah stinky buns don't do that!, awwwe you're a little giggly buns aren't you?!? It was so cute hearing her talk to him the way I do. She's at that phase where she likes to act like a mom to all of her stuffed animals too, so that made it extra cute.

Then we come to Morgan. I was getting afternoon snack for both girls. As I was lecturing Morgan about holding her cup of cheerios upright, and keeping them in the cup instead of all over the floor and furniture (like she ALWAYS does)....I knocked the cup over myself. Cheerios flew all over my kitchen. I put my head down in shame as I moped over to get the broom when she said "Moooom!....are you serwious?!?" That's pretty much the one line I say whenever someone does something I just got done telling them not to do. Right back in my face. Awesome.

I sat there for the rest of the day watching and listening to everything they did and said. It was like watching a movie! I've come to the conclusion that 1) I am hilarious and 2) I should probably filter myself a little bit more. There are some things that I didn't even realize I say, but my kids have showed me that I definitely do.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

My V-Day Update

An update on my Valentine's Day: My husband and I don't go all out on each other. We usually don't even gets gifts. The kids make him stuff and he really enjoys it, and I enjoy watching him enjoy it. But I'm a typical sappy woman and secretly hope that I get at least a mushy card. I don't need flowers, I don't need a gift, I DEFINITELY do not need chocolate..but a card? That's doable.

What did I get this morning you ask? I got looked up and down and winked at. Yep, that's right. You read correctly. He better be walking through that door with a hand written card if he's looking to get anything even remotely close to cuddling tonight!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

My V-Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Which is really a Hallmark Day. A day for them, and company's like them to generate tons of revenue, but it's still a big day in our house. We do a pretty good job showing our love for one another and our kids the other 364 days out of the year, but this is just an excuse to be over-the-top lovey...and we I look forward to it!

Breakfast will consist of red strawberries, and pink yogurt. Heart shaped pancakes and pink milk. Everyone will wear red and pink to school and daycare, and do Valentine projects for the duration of the day. I will walk my husband out of the house wearing the most hideous holey clothes I own while screaming "HAVE A GREAT DAY POOKIE BUNS!" and "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SUGAR LIPS!" embarrassing the crap out of him in front of all of our neighbors until he closes the garage door on me. Then I will run in and call his work phone to leave a super long and sappy message that will be waiting for him as he walks in to his office.

After I'm done with school, I will pick my kids up and we will put the finishing touches on Daddy's gifts before he gets home from work. As he walks through the door, I will watch him get attacked by 2 out of the 3 kids (while the 3rd bounces around in my arms with excitement slapping every inch of my face in the process) and see the joy on their faces as they watch him open the gifts that they have worked so hard on. We will try and have a romantic dinner with all of the kids which usually ends with us getting them out of their chairs early to avoid all of their utensils, cups, and plates being thrown all over the place.
We'll do the whole bedtime routine, and finish up our romantic meal after all of the kids are in bed.

As embarrassed as my husband acts on Valentine's Day, I'm pretty sure he enjoys every second of it, and I'll even go as far to say that he looks forward to it.

So here's to hoping that all of you enjoy every single minute of a day designed to shower the ones we care about most with love, laughter, and a little bit of embarrassment.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Out to eat...I mean NOT eat

Dex has been tugging at his ears for the last couple of days, and yesterday morning he wasn't really feeling his bottle. Now I know that most of you know when your kid has an ear infection. They are fussy, have a fever, don't sleep good at night, yada yada yada. Well, mine don't do that. Not any of that. They are the happiest, giggliest bacteria infested babies ever. Seriously. All 3 of them have been the same way, and I can't tell you how many times we've taken them in for well-checks only to find out that they have an ear infection. I feel like our pediatrician is going to start taking a tally and social services will show up at my door one day for child neglect! Anyway, I took my little stink pot in, and sure enough a double ear infection. Lovely.

After running a few errands with my little man (which is WAY easier than taking anyone else), we returned home. The remainder of the day was pretty typical. We made some birthday gifts, which resulted in my 2 year old using her body as a canvas, along with the table, and gluing beads to anything within reach. I had to yell at her for giving herself purple-nurples, and almost had to put her on timeout for it. Everyone napped good and when I went to get Morgan up, it was the same scene I walk in on every day. Her shirt and pants are on the ground, and she's laying in the middle of her bed. Naked. I don't know what is with this child and stripping her clothes off, but she better get over this phase before she starts school, or we're going to be moving to Alaska!

We went out to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday, and while on our way to the restaurant we realized that this was going to be the first time that we've all gone out to eat as a family since Dex was born. After we got there and were well into our hit me. I suddenly remembered the reason why we haven't taken all 3 kids out to eat thus far.

Even though I come fully prepared with activities and distractions for's still usually a disaster. No one wanted to stay in their chair while eating...actually neither one of the girls even wanted to eat. Morgan told me every 30 seconds that she had to go potty, so I'd take her (since we're potty training), but while in the bathroom she did everything but pee. From unrolling the toilet paper, to touching the toilet, to asking "What's that?" and pointing to everything in sight. 

Back at the table, food ended up on the floor, and they end up running around the table chasing each other and playing tag. Dex puked all over my brother-in-law, and the girls ended up eating a meal entirely of cake frosting. I usually just sit back (knowing that it's pretty much a lost cause when we're out), drink a few tall beers, and let the rest of the family have at it with the kids. They love spoiling them and the kids love the attention, so why not? Plus it's a rare opportunity that I get to have adult conversations with someone other than my husband. (Not that I don't enjoy our conversations, but a woman needs conversational variety!)

On our way out, we stopped in the arcade to let everyone play a few games. They were already getting a bath as soon as we got home, so why not let them pick up a few more germs.

After winning 3 stuffed animals on the claw game, and playing a few others, everyone was spent. (Which really means we didn't have any money left) As we were walking to the car Maddie grabbed our hands and said "Mom... Dad...that was so much fun. It was the best night ever! I just LOVE that place." Knowing that our kids really did have a great time, regardless of whether they ate a balanced dinner or not, was all that mattered at that moment. What's one night anyway? We had a blast with our family, and our kids all went to bed smiling and hugging their new prizes. Knowing how much fun they had, and seeing the smiles on their faces makes me want to do it all over again...but not for at least a month.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Scent of Life

Well, another day has come and gone. Another crazy, drama-filled, is-it-bedtime-yet kind of day. When I was a working mom (which seems like eons ago even though it's only been 2 years) I used to look at my stay-at-home friends and think Man...they have it so easy! If I was able to stay at home with my kids, I would have the house spotless, dinner cooked every night before my husband got home, and would be one of those gorgeous "Real Housewives" type of moms. Well, let me tell you...reality hit me like the stink of a week old baby bottle I found hidden in the toy box.
Back then I didn't think that I would be spending 2+ hours scouring my house for 12 missing marker caps. (which ended up being dispersed throughout every dresser drawer we own. I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out how and when they even got there!) I didn't see myself having Evil Knievel for a daughter and literally having to catch her in mid air leaping off of anything and everything every single time I turn my back. I didn't think I would be spending 5-10 minutes each day chasing my naked children around the house trying to lure them into the bathtub, or wiping runny, drippy, snotty noses every 30 seconds...on all 3 kids. At the exact same time. (I'm still completely amazed by how much snot can come out of those little teeny tiny things in the first place!) I definitely didn't think about how time consuming potty training is. And I can't remember the last time I put make-up on, or wore clothes that didn't have some kind of "kid-print" on it.
My day is completely consumed with taking care of my children, giving them the attention that they need and deserve, and trying to soak up all of these crazy moments that are already slipping by faster than I ever imagined possible. Any free time during the day that I have is filled with school work, and picking up toys only to have new ones taken out almost simultaneously. Doing dishes, cleaning the house, and having a 5 course meal prepared for the minute my husband walks through the door are the last things on my list. 
There are days when I want to pull my hair out, but they are far and few compared to the days filled with laughter, sloppy kisses, those sweet little high pitched voices saying "I love you Mommy", and watching them learn new things and grow right before my very own eyes. I really try to sit back and take everything in. To enjoy and cherish life as it's happening. Take tonight for example. Dinner time? Nuts. Completely insane. Both of my girls do everything together, and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Instead of eating, they were putting their forks in their mouths and playing them like clarinets. They put green beans all over their trays, and cut each one into 101 pieces...and then threw them on the floor. Morgan even had a nice little wind-up and chucked her fork at Maddie just barely skimming her face.
Every time we told them to do something, or to stop doing something, they completely ignored us, and continued screeching and squealing to get giggles out of their baby brother Dex. I was pretty upset after not getting any kind of acknowledgement from either one of them, but I have to admit that it melted my heart seeing the pure excitement they got each time he let out a deep belly laugh. As cute as it was, I still had to discipline them for not listening. Morgan straightened up right away, but Maddie was in one of those moods tonight, and ended up playing her fork clarinet right into her top bunk for an early bedtime sans a story. Just another day for the books. I'm hoping to get a full night's sleep tonight, because it's pretty safe to assume that tomorrow will be yet another day filled with love, laughter, and plenty of shenanigans.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Exhausting Day to Heartmelting Night

After getting a whooping 3 hours of sleep last night due to my oldest having hives, my middle having an ear infection, and my youngest thinking it was play-time at 5:15am...I was beyond ready for bedtime tonight. The usual order of events in our house is: hubby gets home, we have dinner, and if the girls haven't pooped yet that day, they do it right after dinner before we get ready for bed. Tonight was no exception. Everyone needed to poop. (the odds of both girls pooping somtime during the day instead of waiting until right before bed are pretty much the same as us winning the lottery. Slim to none.) After Morgan (my 2 year old) was done, I wanted to use the bathroom myself before continuing on with our bedtime routine. I sat down and Morgan came running in. "You go potty Mom?" she asked. "Yep, I've gotta go potty quick" I said. As she heard me go she gasped, threw her arms up in the air, and then starting clapping and shouted "So prouda you Mommy!! Yaaaay!!!" "Thanks hunny." I said as I was laughing. "You go poop Mom?" she then asked. Catching me off guard I said "...Oh, well maybe...I'm not sure yet." "OH!"...she said as if a light bulb just went off. She scurried out of the bathroom only to come back screaming down the hallway "MAG-ZEEN MOMMY!! MAG-ZEEN!!!" She ran back to me, set up the stool right in front of the toilet, and plopped her little tush down. "I read to you Mom. .....Once pona time...(she looked around to see if I was paying attention)....uh, cheese...grapes...OH! POP-TARTS!!!..." The "magazine" that she had grabbed was really our Giant Eagle circular, and she was rattling off the sale items. She was so darn cute about it, that I sat there until my legs went numb. ;)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Adventures of the burning dryer

"on Saturday our dryer made an odd "zapping" noise and the lights flickered at the same time. We kept an eye on it, and nothing really seemed out of whack afterwards so we let it go and kept using it. Jay left to run a few errands, and while he was gone our basement started to smell like something was burning. Not wanting to be responsible for our house burning down, I stopped the dryer until he returned. After watching 3 youtube videos, he took the entire thing apart yesterday to figure out what was going on. I was studying in the living room when I heard him stomping up the stairs and darting in by me. I was slightly terrified because I knew somehow something was going to be my fault. Par for the course in our house. ;) He stood right in front of me all huntched over like a little grumpy old man and said "Well?! Do you want to know what was wrong with our dryer?!?" I didn't answer. I knew I was going to be told regardless. As I just sat there staring at him, he held up a fried bobby pin. He explained that it was sucked through one of the holes in the back of the dryer, got lodged on the heating coils, and got so hot that it melted the back of the dryer every time we used it. I didn't know what to say, so I did what I do best. Laughed hysterically. He hounds me day in and day out to pick up my bobby pins because I leave them EVERYWHERE. I guess now that I almost burnt our house down I'll check my pockets more, and MAYBE put them away ;)"

"Mommy's Little Helper".... goes awire

"I let Maddie help me change Dex's diaper the other day. (And by "help" I really mean I let her do everything and just told her what to do) She thought it was the greatest thing in the world. She loves helping, and loves it even more when it's something she gets to do completely on her own. With that said....both girls were missing and quiet for quite some time last night. I went on a hunt to find ...them, and when I did, there was nothing that I could do other than to call Jay to come witness what I was seeing. He walked in the room, and turned right around and walked back out. Morgan was laying naked on Casey's dog bed while Maddie was hoovering over her holding a wipe and one of Dex's diapers, and they both were looking at us as if we were the crazy ones! I asked them what they were doing and Maddie said (as if I was stupid) "Morgan's the baby, and I'm the mom and she needs her diaper changed." The worst part was...before I could put Morgan's gutchies back on I had to pick dog hair out of her butt. What a bunch of sickos."

Officially a Germaphobe

"I'm only 2 weeks into Microbiology and I'm officially a germaphobe. I've lunged across the room and karate chopped my girls when they pick anything up off the ground to eat it..and I constantly have a look of disgust on my face as I read through my chapters. I feel like I should be wearing a fanny pack filled with sanitizer, rubber gloves, and tongs at all times..."

Inbetween Moments

I was feeling quite adventurous this morning, so I made some homemade chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. Jay had the girls in the basement with him when I heard cheering, clapping, and hootin and hollerin coming up the stairs. As I started towards the door I heard Maddie say "Morgie! Daddy is so good at basketball!! Let's keep watching!" I was a little perplexed since my husband is not your typica...l basketball player...and we don't have a hoop in the basement. As I made my way down the stairs I saw both girls sitting on the bottom step (as if they were on the bleachers) watching Jay wad up dirty clothes and shoot them into the washer from half way across the basement. They clapped and cheered with every shot. It's moments like that that make me slow down a bit and soak in all the "inbetween moments" ♥

The Best Part of My Day

"Today has been one of those days where I felt like I was living in the twlight zone. From Morgan standing IN the toilet, to Maddie propping up Baby Sharon so she could keep an eye on Dex for me, to pulling rice out of Morgan's gutchies. But the best part of my day?? Hearing Jay tell me the story about how 2 little old ladies called the cops on him while he was sitting in the bank parking lot talking on the phone because they thought he was going to rob the place!! No joke! The cop stopped him after he got out of the car wash and questioned him. I guess my husband looks like a sketchy, shifty bank robber. Awesome."

Look Out Teenage Years...


"last night Maddie was going to the bathroom and I was having a conversation with Jay. "Mom.." I didn't respond. "MOM..." I still didn't acknowledge her, and continued my conversation."MOOOOOM!!!!" "What is it Maddie?" "You're talking WAY too loud and I'm on the phone. I can't hear." I looked at Jay with my mouth open. Did our 3 year old really just tell us to be quiet because she's on the phone w...hile pooping?
As I started walking towards the bathroom I said, "Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry to disturb you. I'll talk a little quieter.." "Thanks Mom." she said.
I finally reached her and poked my head in to see for myself what was going on, and there she was. A magazine on her lap, pencil in hand, and a phone up to her ear saying "Oh Hi Pap...nothing...just PJ home too?" I'm doomed when she gets to the teenage years.

A Birthday Wish for my BIGGEST Love-Bug


"Happy Birthday to the man that makes me laugh so hard I can't catch my breath, to the man who makes dinner almost 7 out of 7 nights, to the man who supports me 110% and walks down that unpaved path in life with me, to the most amazing person anyone could hope to have as the father of their children, and to the only person I know who could put up with all of my shenanigans and fire em right back. I am a better person for knowing you, loving you, and having you as my husband. Happy Birthday Lovie!! ♥"

Daddy Tales

"I had my niece's baby shower today which means I got 4+ hours of being kid and husband free. I texted Jay at the beginning of the shower to check-in, and didn't get a response. No biggie. 3 kids all going down for nap at the same time can take some figuring out when you don't do it on a daily basis. 2 hours later I got "ok now". Again I figured it just took a little bit longer to get every down fo...r nap. Upon getting home I asked Jay how his day was and I got "the look", followed by "...we need to go get a new microwave." "What?..... What in the world went on while I was gone??" Apparently while heating lunch up, the microwave started sparking and sputtering resulting in Jay flinging the girls across the kitchen (in their highchairs) while he attempted to unplug it (knowing Jay...overly dramatic I'm sure), then right when he finally sat down to feed Dex, Maddie started choking on her lunch and he had to sprint to her rescue. Lunch time was a mess, which means naptime didn't go too smooth for him either. Everyone eventually went down, but after hearing about his adventures today, I laughed so hard I literally had a side-ache. I love catastrophic parenting tales (when there are no real injuries of course!)!!!"

What kind of Birthday Party?!?


"today is the day of Morgan's birthday party. The girls were eating breakfast as Jay and I were buzzing around the kitchen and garage getting things ready. Maddie asks "Are we wearing clothes for Morgan's party today?" Without skipping a beat I said "Nope. It's a naked party. Everyone is going to be naked." She looked at me as if she was fearing for her life "...but I don't wanna be naked...I wanna wear clothes.." "Sorry," I said, "this is Morgan's party, and she likes to be naked so everyone has to be naked." "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" she said, sobbing her eyes out. "I DON'T WANNA BE NAKED!!!" Ridiculous questions get ridiculous answers in the Demaske house."

A coffee can...or is it?


"I recieved a phone call from the hubs today:
Jay: "Babe...I went to make some coffee at work today, and almost made a pot of grease."
Me: "What?!? What are you talking about??"
Jay: "Why did you put the coffee can full of grease next to the coffee can I needed to take to work?"
Me: ...pausing for a minute as the light bulb finally went off... "AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's hilarious! Don't blame that on me! AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Jay: "'s not that funny. I almost vomited when I opened up the can..."

My Birthday Gift...Wonderful...

1-6-13: The girls and I have been running errands and getting last minute stuff for Morgan's birthday next week. Since we've been on a birthday kick, Maddie has made it known everytime she sees something she wants to get for someone's birthday (whether it be an ad on tv or in the paper, or something she actually sees in the store) Last night Jay and I were getting dinner ready while the girls were already seated. Maddie started screaming and shouting "That's it Mom!! That's what I'm going to get you for your birthday!! You're going to LOVE it!!" I popped my head in to see what all the excitement was about...and there it was. An ad for a handicap bathtub for senior citizens. I put my head down in shame as I recalled her earlier description of me as "Someone I love, a girl, and who's really big"...and now I'm getting a handicap bathtub...while at the store yesterday Maddie spotted me at the end of an aisle. She proceeded to run to me and tripped over her own shoe. She tried to catch her balance but ended up stumbling the entire length of the aisle before falling flat on her belly and skidding another foot towards me. I was already laughing hysterically just watching her arms flailing and her crouched run as she tried to steady herself, but to top it all off, she tooted as soon as she hit the ground. She got up laughing and said "Excuse me" but Jay and I couldn't compose ourselves for a solid minute. We must've looked like fabulous parents as we stood there laughing in our kid's face.

Think before ;)

1-1-13: my New Years Eve consisted of steak, shrimp, salad, brussel sprouts, potatoes...and cuddling with my husband..until his brussel sprouts took full effect. Today's menu included a wide variety of deliciousness, but most importantly saurkraut. I was sure to have a few extra servings so I could "quietly" retaliate tonight....mwah hahahahaha.

What day is it again??

12-31-12: looking forward to a delicious meal, followed by spiritual libations at home with the hubs tonight. Although....he may think it's St. Patty's Day instead of New Years because I've been wearing cabbage leaves to help dry up my milk. Oh well.... both days involve alcohol and food so he'll be thrilled regardless ;) Hope you all have a fun and safe New Years Eve!!

New Highlight of my day

12-30-12: I stand corrected on the highlight of my day yesterday...last night, shortly after midnight, I was lounging around channel surfing while Jay was asleep on the couch. He was in and out of sleep for a little over a hour and said he had the chills so I figured he wasn't feeling well. All of a sudden he sprung up faster than I've ever seem him do before. He whipped the blanket off, and almost stumbled into me and the living room table. He caught his balance, and sprinted towards the bathroom. I thought "Oh, great...he's going to crap himself. I gave him whatever I had the other day" Only, he ran right past the bathroom and bolted into the girls' room. I sat here watching the monitor trying to figure out what in the hell was going on. He didn't say one word the whole time! I slowly walked towards the girls room trying to brace myself for whatever was going to happen next. He slowly came walking out closing the door behind him. I stood there with my mouth open waiting for an explanation as to what in the world just went on. He said "Didn't you hear her crying?! And the loud thud?!" I said "No.... (as if I was talking to a lunatic) I was wide awake with the monitor right next to me, and no one made a peep..." He must've been dreaming and thought Morgan fell out of bed and went to rescue her. It was the most bizarre thing I've seen him do and didn't know wether I should be frightened or laughing uncontrollably. I chose to laugh uncontrollably...for a really really long time.

Hightlight of my day

12-29-12: after getting home from looking at Christmas lights tonight, my hubby immediately stripped down to his usual attire of boxers over boxer briefs and no shirt. Most of you that know him know that he is an extremely hairy human being. With that said, I passed Dex off so I could get waters for both girls and a bottle ready for Dex for bedtime. 5 seconds after walking out of the room I hear blood curdling womanly screams. I frantically dart back in only to find Dex smiling at me with a giant fist full of Jay's chest hair. Jay was trying to pull him off, but he wouldn't loosen his grip. He kept screaming so loud that Dex eventually started crying from being so scared, and I fell to the floor laughing. It was most definitely the highlight of my night. To top it off Dex earled all over Jay afterward and he had to scrub baby-vomit out of his chest hair. Maybe after tonight he'll start wearing more clothes....but that's highly unlikely.

Maddie's "I Spy" Game

12-27-12: Maddie and I play a guessing game kind of like "I spy" almost daily. I make her think of things, and give me clues to describe it until I get it right. Tonight was all about people.

First was: "He's someone I love, cleans snow out of our driveway, and cuts the grass." Is it Dad? "YES! It IS Dad!!"

Next was: "He's a good cooker, and someone I love." I didn't get it right the first time, but it ended up being Pap.

Then it was: "He's someone I love, and lives really far away, and calls me MadCat." Is it Manpa? "YES!! You're right, it IS Manpa!"

Last was: "She's a girl, someone I love, and is really big." ....Um, it me? "You're right! It IS you Mom!"

Why couldn't they be clues like "She takes care of us all day, she plays games with us, she drives us around, she makes us laugh, she wipes our butts, she feeds us, she's really cool"...nope, instead I get "she's a girl and really big". Fantastic.

Maddie's Song

12-27-12: we had an amazing Christmas this year. We were spoiled by our families yet again, and got to Skype with the ones out of state. Maddie gasped and screamed "OH MY GOSH!!...JUST WHAT I WANTED!!" when she opened EVERY single present. (It took an extremely long time to get through everything) Morgan was estatic over her bag of chips, and Dexy-Doo was quite the trooper during all of the get togethers. He sat there squealing and giggling with the occasional spit-up. I ended up spending 36 hours or so in the bathroom (and after seeing all of the posts about people getting sick, I guess I'm not the only one) Although I probably am the only one who had to listen to my 3 year sing a song about Mommy pooping her pants..all thanks to my hubby. (I'm praying she doesn't sing it at school today) But it's a Christmas I wouldn't trade for anything. I love my family and cherish every single second I have with them ♥

Through the eyes of a child

12-21-12: like almost all kids, my girls LOVE snow. They have been waiting for it since the temperature dropped. And like a lot of other people, we FINALLY got it last night. I went to get them up this morning and before I could even turn the light on, they were out of bed, zooming past me, yelling "Hey Dad!" and "Goo MORNING DAD!" in high pitched voices as they flew past the bathroom door and glued themselves to the living room window. They ooo'd and ahhh'd, and screamed and squealed for what seemed like eternity. I finally restored order, and was looking for Maddie to come eat breakfast. "Oh, I'm just in here Mom. Looking at some snow. It's SO gorgeous." I love that children appreciate the little things in life ♥

Sneaky Morgie

12-19-12: This week we have been recieving packages from out of state family. While I have been saving the big boxes to empty and put out on Christmas Eve, I have opened some smaller envelope size packages to place under the tree. The girls (of course) squealed with excitement upon seeing presents and immediately wanted to open them. I said we needed to wait until Christmas, and Maddie started tantrum city. I sat down with her and went on and on about why we needed to wait. I ended with "look, your sister isn't even fussing over it. Only a few more days and you will have tons of gifts to open." She eventually calmed down and we both went back to the living room...and what do you suppose we walk in on?....Morgan sitting under the tree opening presents! I should've known, it was way too quiet for her to be doing something good....but on the brightside, she only managed to open one, and it was her own.

A lawyer in the making

12-12-12: I just took Maddie off of time out for shutting Morgan's finger in their dresser drawer. I was making her explain to me why she was there and she went right into "But really hurt me when you put me on timeout. You were too rough. You really need to be more careful with me. I'm a very smart girl you know." What?!?! You got put on timeout, yet you come off making me look like the bad guy here?!?! This child has the most absurd reasoning skills...

Nutty Kids

12-11-12: the girls went to bed at 8:15 tonight. From 9:45 to 10:15 Maddie was calling my name constantly. "Moooom..Mah-Meeeeee...I'm having a baby..." (seriously, this is what she was yelling) "Mooooom...I have a baaaaaby for you.." "Mommy...Mom.." I finally went in there not wanting her to wake her sister up. I quietly open the door and start whispering. Suddenly Morgan sits up and shouts "HI MOM!" at the top of her lungs, and Maddie says "Mooom! Why are you in here? I'm trying to sleep!" I turned right around, walked out, and closed the door. My kids are nuts.

Preschool Program

12-10-12: Maddie's Christmas program was AWESOME! She was the cutest sheep there... and ended up tripping over the steps going up to the stage because she was too busy looking at Jay and I and waving. It was hilarious. And all caught on tape. :) The other thing caught on tape was me having to run up and pull Miss Morgie off the stage. She was a little dancing queen and wanted to be by her big sister

I hope, I hope!!

12-10-12: beyond excited for Maddie's first Christmas Program at school tonight! I hope she spots me in the crowd and waves like a lunatic in the middle of the show :)

Adventures with Santa

12-9-12: we took the kids to see Santa today. I'm a little bummed to report that everyone had a great time, and there were no tears from anyone. :( I was really hoping that THIS would be the year that I would finally get a screaming child and Santa picture...but sadly I did not. However, I probably am one of the only ones who got a picture of their daughter lifting her dress up while sitting next to Santa and flashing her gutchies for the world to see. To top it off, Maddie asked Santa for a spaceship and Morgan asked for a bag of chips. I have a feeling that one child will be super excited on Christmas, and the other may be slightly disappointed. (and Dex will be happy as pie no matter what)

12-7-12: I'm sitting here studying for finals, and Morgan is sitting at the table with me. Everytime I look up at her she flashes me a smile. "What a cutie" I think to myself. This goes on for quite some time. "She's being unusually good..maybe she's tired" I think to myself again...then I went to take a sip of my coffee. The little stinker had been ripping up stickers and throwing them in my cup when I wasn't looking! There had to be 15 stickers floating in my coffee. That's the Morgan I know

12-5-12: Maddie pooped tonight. Morgan couldn't contain her own excitement and flushed the potty while Maddie was pulling her gutchies up. This resulted in Maddie crying hysterically because she "wanted to flush her own poop!". How did I solve this dilemma you ask? By promising Maddie that she could flush my poop in the morning. She started giggling and clapping. Problem solved.

12-2-12: Maddie: "Mom?..Can I help you study?"
Me: "Sure Honey."
Maddie: "Oh goodie! What are we studying?"
Me: "I'm learning all about tickies and lady parts."

Maddie: "Oooh. I have an idea...How about I help you with the lady parts and Daddy helps you with the ticky? Alright Mom?"

Me: "That's a great idea Maddie. Daddy will love that."

Maddie: (while giving me a thumbs up) "I'm a smart cookie Mom"

11-28-12: Maddie had to sit on timeout tonight and Morgan heard me set the timer from the living room. She ran to the hallway (where timeout is) and slowly strolled past Maddie waving for the entire 3 minutes she was sitting there. Round and round she went, while Maddie cried louder and louder, and I laughed harder and harder.

11-27-12: after not studying for the last week and doing it all in 24 hours, I managed to pull off a 104% and 100% on my lab exam and quiz today. My girls are back to normal (no more puke-and-rally), dinner and bath time went exceptionally smooth for all 3 kids tonight, and I think I hear a big fat bowl of banana split ice cream calling my name. Now on to finishing Christmas presents and watching my over-weight dog sleep and snore with his eyes open.

11-26-12: had an AWESOME couple days back home with my family. Enjoyed spending some quality time with them, and watching my kids soak up every moment they got. I also enjoyed getting a rare night out with the hubs (thanks for babysitting Dad)...but could've gone without Morgan falling down the stairs and Maddie hurling all over the place Saturday night and both girls sick for the drive home. Luckily I'm a great catch and was leaping all over the van with buckets. :) And since I didn't do a lick of studying at all over break I will be cramming today for a test tomorrow...tis is life

11-11-12: while at the store yesterday Maddie spotted me at the end of an aisle. She proceeded to run to me and tripped over her own shoe. She tried to catch her balance but ended up stumbling the entire length of the aisle before falling flat on her belly and skidding another foot towards me. I was already laughing hysterically just watching her arms flailing and her crouched run as she tried to steady herself, but to top it all off, she tooted as soon as she hit the ground. She got up laughing and said "Excuse me" but Jay and I couldn't compose ourselves for a solid minute. We must've looked like fabulous parents as we stood there laughing in our kid's face.

11-7-12: While both girls were in the bathtub last night....
Maddie: (while kicking her feet up and putting her hands behind her head) "Morgan, let's sit back, relax, and talk about some music."
Morgan: "K"
Maddie: "Let's see....what's your favorite song Morgan?.."
Morgan: (screaming at the top of her lungs) "Ah Beh Says! AH BEH SAYS!!"
Maddie: "Oh yes, ABCs..that's a good choice Morgan"

10-30-12: (due to the weather) my school is closed, Maddie's school is closed, and Jay's work is delayed this morning. The brilliant suggestion my husband has for me to do today? Go up to Giant Eagle to get some more coffee creamers that are on sale. Sure, I'd love to pack up all 3 kids and venture out in rain, 60mph winds, and falling debris to save you $.50. Let me get right on that.

10-26-12: the only rule (and the most important rule) Jay has following his surgery is to keep his eye completely dry for the next week. So keeping that rule in mind...last night at dinner he was choking on the tinest piece of turkey I've ever seen. He went to take a drink of his pop, and coughed at the same time resulting in the pop spurting out of his mouth and covering nothing but his face top to bottom.... I don't even know how he managed to have it squirt himself, but I do know that I was laughing so loud and hard that the girls were staring at me like I was from another planet before they eventually joined in on the laughter. We were wiping tears from our eyes, and Jay was cleaning Verner's Ginger Ale out of his. Absolutely hilarious.

10-22-12: as I was calling the girls for dinner..surprise surprise Morgan wasn't coming. (I just keep telling myself: It's not that she doesn't's just that she's my "spirited" child...) I went on a hunt to find her because it was way too quiet. I found clothes scattered here and there, and then a pull up...and finally saw her jumping on the trampoline. Naked. I pray that's a scene I will never witness her doing again when she's older! I have an odd feeling she's going to be our wild child...

10-21-12: I'm playing in the living room with Dex and the girls are playing in the kitchen in their "spaceship" (which is really a diaper box). I heard a low, slow rumble coming from the kitchen...followed by giggles. I asked Maddie if she tooted, and in a very sly voice she said "No was thunder". FYI...It's sunny and clear out, and there isn't a cloud in the sky

10-20-12: took the girls to the circus today. 2 things I've realized...#1, don't ever forget the back-pack leash for Morgan again. She is completely insane, doesn't listen for crap, and is faster than lightning (when she wants to be)....and #2, Maddie hates cotton candy. Jay surprised her with a mouth full thinking she would love it (what kid doesn't?!?), and after 5 minutes, a meltdown, gagging, drooling blue, and spitting on the floor, we were finally able to continue on to the car. All in all everyone had a blast, and will zonk out immediately tonight. Jay and I will most likely be first... ;)

10-19-12: while trying to have a conversation with Jay last night:
Maddie: "Mom?...Mom?..Mommy?...Mom?...Can I please say something?...Mom, I have something to say?...Mom?...Mommy?.."
Me: "What do you have to say Madison?"
Maddie: "I really love pepperoni because it's so good and delicious."
Me: "Awesome Maddie. I'm so glad I know that now."
Back to my conversation with Jay.
Maddie: "Mom?...Mommy?...Mom?..Mom?..I have something else to say. Mommy?.."
Me: "What Madison?"
Maddie: "I don't like gorillas because they are too loud and noisy."
Me: "Fantastic. I'll be sure to keep all of the gorillas away from you."
Maddie: "Thanks Mom."
I swear that kid just talks to hear her own voice. No clue where she gets that from...

10-18-12: yesterday I dropped my kids off at my father-in-law's and couldn't seem to get my dress zipped before I left. No biggie, I figured I would just ask his wife when I dropped the kids off. Well...just my luck, she wasn't home. I couldn't head to our church with a dress half on, so I had to ask my father-in-law. He was in the process of trying to get it zipped (it was one of those side zippers in the seam of the dress) and proceeded to tell me "I think your dress is too small". I put my head down in shame and just kept repeating to myself "He's almost 80..he's almost 80.." He finally got it zipped and as I was flying out the door, without even thinking, I said "My dress isn't too small, my boobs are just way too big!" He laughed, but I saw his face turn a few shades of red. Not sure if it was because I mentioned my giant jugs, or if he realized you should never tell a woman her dress is too small. ;)

10-1-12: tonight as some lady was walking past our house, Jay was in the front yard in his usual wardrobe (a holey, cut off shirt and boxers over boxer briefs) throwing fist fulls of walnuts on our roof trying to replicate the weird noise I heard all day. My kids were naked, pounding on the window in the living room and screaming "HI" to the lady while Jay was yelling at me to flip the chicken that was in the oven. Just then, I peeked outside and saw Bandit running into the street.... I would pay money to know what was going thru that lady's head at that exact moment....

9-22-12: My day started off with Maddie crying non-stop during soccer while Jay was chasing Morgan thru the minature golf course. (Not once..not twice...but 4 times) No one listened to a word we said, and it didn't get any better once we got home. Then while at church tonight the girls were corrupting the other kids there and everyone was spinning in circles, dancing, and jumping around like lunatics. After dinner, Maddie insisted that Jay and I sing her Happy Birthday while she ate a brownie, and repeated the word "Ba-Zinga" 1001 times while we were cleaning up. (and taught her sister to say it) I seriously felt like I was living in the twilight zone today....

9-18-12: Highlights of my day yesterday: playing soccer with my girls, watching them try to skip, spinning them around so fast that they fell flat on their face afterwards (resulting in hysterical laughter from everyone), and making salmon for the first time which EVERYONE gobbled up. Lowlights: having to put Morgan on timeout for not listening to me and continuing to eat crumbs off of the bottom of the toaster oven. Seriously...who's kid does that?!?!?

9-12-12: after dinner tonight, the kids and I were all sitting in the kitchen when I had a (silent) air biscuit escape. A few seconds had passed before I heard Maddie take in a deep breath and then say "Why does it smell like danger in here?". I choked on my water, and called my husband with tears in my eyes from laughing...she just may be writing someone's stand-up routine in the future...

9-10-12: The girls got strawberries with breakfast this morning:
Maddie: "Did you make these strawberries?"
Me: "Mmm Hmm"
Maddie: "Did Daddy buy them from the store?"
Me: "Yep, and I washed them and cut them up for you."
Maddie: "Awww....Daddy is so great!"
.....when being compared to Daddy, I am chop liver.

9-7-12: Morgan got a new toy (a mini lap top) today for going on the potty for a full week. Maddie, per usual, only wants to play with that toy. (Rules in our house: either play together, or wait until the other person sets it down and leaves the room) I caught Maddie walking into the bathroom with the laptop to go poop. Either she's too smart for our rules...or she has watched her Dad go into the bathroom with the lap top tucked under his arm one too many times...

9-5-12: while hearing both girls bicker and scream at each other over a stool this morning I said "C'mon girls! What's the problem??" Before I could even finish the question Maddie screams "MORGAN'S THE PROBLEM!".....she's already started throwing her sister under the bus....

9-1-12: had a blast at the fair today...even though it was wicked hot! Dex was a hit with complete strangers because of his cuteness, and the girls were also a hit, but because of their dancing skills. I guess I too was a hit....but it was only when I was nursing. I have never gotten so many stares, awkward looks, and creepy smiles in all my life. (and I was even covered up!)

8-27-12: Our dinner tonight consisted of Maddie teaching Morgan how to put the wrong end of the fork in her mouth, and then try to stab the food without using her hands. After we nixed that, they both ripped out their hair ties and started violently whipping their hair back and forth (now I have that song stuck in my head) and laughing hysterically. It ended with Maddie finishing her dinner staring at the garage door, and Morgan facing the opposite direction. Just when I thought it was over, I caught Maddie picking her nose and watched her eat the booger. I can't WAIT to hear how her first day at school goes tomorrow....
My day so far: Morgan don't do that. Maddie give that back to your sister. Girls stop fighting. Dex did you seriously poop again?!? I just changed you 2 seconds ago!! Morgan...put Dex's poopy diaper back in the garbage. You're sick. Morgan give your sister her gutchies back. Maddie, put your gutchies back on. We can't be naked. No seriously...we CANNOT be naked. Maddie quit teasing your sister. Morgan get out of the bathroom. Morgan put the toilet paper back first, THEN get out of the bathroom. Girls...get off of your brother! Just because he's laughing doesn't mean it's funny.'s not funny. Maddie put my calculator back. No, it is NOT your computer. Put it back. Morgan get back on the potty.......Thank goodness it's lunchtime followed by nap time for EVERYONE!! :)